derstanding the love of God in man cautioned you to "keep your eyes shut"; your inhumanity cried out, "Grab this, the devil take the hindmost! If you don't you will blow up!" Well, my dear, you would have blown up if Dick hadn't come into your life. You owe him more than you imagine: he has saved your life. You have needed him for a long time. You can now love, and you can know love as not some "one night stand"-as some sort of fulfillment of mere self-desire.

The "aunties" have never been a real outlet for your love, for your capacity of friendship. Nor have such individuals as myself been such for you, although I like to play with the idea and comfort myself with the thought. No, you have needed Dick and I am glad you have found him.

But life, as we who in obedience to the rational discipline of the Church live it, is not a defense but a battle field. The moral teachings of the Church are not to protect you but to train you. A person is not saved by not meeting evil, but rather by overcoming evil. Julian of Norwich said, “He did not say 'thou shalt not be tempted' but thou shalt not be overcome""; which is a different thing entirely.

Whatever is evil or misdirected or misused in homophilic love, as in any love between two people, is overcome by good, by God, by the love of God, and by seeking Him in that love. You must not be afraid of looking for the love of God in the eyes of Dick. God is there, you can be sure of that. Dick is made in the image of God just as you are. Both of you are growing into His likeness. This means that to love another is not departing from God; you find the love of God in seeking it in your friend. You miss that love if you merely love yourself in your friend. The blinding and binding nature of passion lies in that it is self-love disguised in a very noble masquerade.

My dear Tim, you love Dick simply because you love him, neither more or less, because he is lovable. And he is lovable because he is loved by God. Don't look for any other justification for that friendship; anything else is bunk! It's so like pretending: the reason is strewn with dodges and subterfuges and misses the purpose of affectionate attachments. So don't allow anyone to hoodwink you into supposing purposes for that attachment which are only dragged in after the event-whatever that "event" may be. That's all humbug. This may be worth very little as an argument but it is the keeping of things in their proper order. If the "event" takes the turn of being sinful, face that for what it is. But this need not destroy your affectionate attachment for one another. The mutual affection and the "event" are two different questions, provided of course you keep reminding yourselves that God is present in both of you, loving you through each other.

So enjoy this love you have and be ready to pay the price of the sacrifice and pain it calls for. I know you have Dick in your prayers; don't hesitate to let God be the third party in your affection one for another. Pray "here we are, my friend and I, and between us may there always be Christ as the third.” I think it was Fr. Bede Jarrett, O.P., who once said "Oh dear Friendship! What a gift of God it is! Speak no ill of it. Praise it, for He is the Maker and Model..."

Dear Son, be joyful in your friend, and be grateful. God is good, and He is merciful as well as just.

Ever affectionately, carissimo mio amico, Padre Urbanus

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